Time To Blow Stuff Up

04 Jul

Yup, that’s about the extent of my 4th of July celebration this year. I actually consider myself lucky as I usually don’t do anything except pickup candy that was throw at high speed from a cop car driving slowly down a crowded street. I think it’s their way of saying sorry with candy while still shoving their boot up your ass. But seriously though, I am rarely given a chance to shoot of fireworks. The only downside to this particular occasion is that my fireworks look 30 years old. I honestly feel like Wile E. Coyote, but not as hairy or irresponsible.

I was given a big box full of these things for free from our next door neighbors. It was a really nice thing to do, but I have a feeling that something sinister is going on 0_o Perhaps a subtle sabotage with aged fireworks and a strapping young lad? *strokes invisible mustache* Firecrackers, sizzlers, zingers, tiny dynamite, bottle rockets, and more came in this box of dangerous goodies! It was like Christmas in July. A very American Christmas with dirt instead of snow.

To top off the bundle of joy that is my 4th of July, I won’t get to fire these baby’s off until I get off of work. At 12 at night. Yippee! I’m going to be tired as shit, needing a shower, and probably in a terrible mood so I am damn glad I’m getting to blow some shit up! You can bet I’ll be shouting obscenities late into the night 😉 Yet in all of this fun and excitement, I’ll be alone. I won’t be shooting fireworks with friends, I won’t have eaten BBQ, no hamburgers, and NO songs about America (THANK YOU!)

Work is definitely going to be hectic, how could it not be? People want to stuff their faces full of pizza, shouting AMURCAH! You DO know that pizza is Italian right? Just sayin’. So anyway, have a great 4th of July, eat until you hate yourself, and stare in awe of bright explosions, or make your own and blow a finger off. It’s your choice, just be careful lol

Happy Birthday America!


Posted by on July 4, 2011 in Uncategorized


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