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Ever Wonder How The Universe Began?

The talk of everyone’s lips (at least mine) has mainly been dedicated to that of universal theories. Also I’m drunk. This will be Interesting.

Shit just got real

Yup SCIENCE *Cue amazing cinematic music* Really though, more of theoretical science, like parallel universes and the creation of the universe but still ÜBER BADASS! Let me lay it down for you all.

      The Universe. It’s big right? Yeah, really right. Big. What? IT’S INCOMPREHENSIBLY LARGE MAAAN! Okay so, several theories have been created or hypothesized (whatever) that try to explain how there may be alternate universes and parallel/alternate/multiple/other etc. universes that exist somehow somewhere. Perhaps the most famous is that of the Multiple-worlds theory. This states that there are an unlimited amount of universes that exist together in a multi-verse or sometimes called a bubble-verse. Did I mention that I’m watching Avatar: The Last Airbender? No? Oh well…Anyway…where was I going with this post? OH RIGHT!

 THE UNIVERSE

So, really, imagine every perceivable action taking place. You have a choice to go left or right. Left takes you to a city where you can meet your future wife. Right takes you to a town where you partake in your dream job. Each decision is acted out in a separate universe, talking different paths and decisions from EVERY. SINGLE. POSSIBLE. DECISION. yeah. mind blown yet?

image

Man, Dubstep while drunk really gets you motivated. So a plethora of universes exist together as bubbles, with new bubbles forming from those previous bubbles ans so on, and existing on one plane of existence.

Rhythm pulsing and swaying within the veins
softly yet stumbling together within the dance of the heart.

I don’t know what that was. Sorry.

So I’m too incapacitated to stay on track so I give you this

 

Merry Christmas!

Something about the whole Christmas season just irks me constantly. It’s like nobody cares about the wintery aspect of Christmas, probably because most people don’t get enough snowfall anymore or they get too much. Also the whole, BUY BUY BUY IT NOW FOR YOUR GREEDY OFFSPRING! Too much snow and it’s a hassle and a problem that needs dealing with and with too little snow it just doesn’t feel like Christmas. I want to go outside and get frostbite from hours of intense Snowball Wars, sledding and one-horse open sleigh rides!

The Good Ole Days

What happened to evenings of sitting in front of the fireplace with a cup of cocoa and a blanket cuddling your cat/dog/hamster and watching one of the classic Holiday movies! That used to be the pinnacle of my year, nothing else came close in my book. Well…maybe when school got out for summer…eh. The only thing I really hated about the Christmas season was “A Christmas Story”. I really liked the movie, except for the little brother. OH.MY.GOD. Scut Farkus was more appeasing to me, and that guy make me want to put a knife through his forehead.

Did you know that the actor who played him, Zack Ward, was in Transformers? He dies fast. I lol’d.

This Christmas is the first I have ever not celebrated it with my family. Right now I am alone in my apartment looking for a job(with no luck) and a tiny Christmas tree. It’s a tad disheartening not being with my dad or my mom or of course the rest of the family, but I really can’t say that I hate the predicament that I’m in. I miss the warm feeling that once came from putting up the Christmas tree ornaments and decorating the house with tinsel and tree needle pollution. Also massive snowball fights with my friends and romping through my woods. But since I’m an adult(lol) the time for playing is, unfortunately, over and I have to tend to matters of a more…mature nature. Now if you’ll excuse me I must be off for my rendezvous with the Barney Christmas Special. EEEEEH OMG HE SO AWESOME!

I hope you all have a great Christmas and a bad ass New Year!

YAAAAY!

 
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Posted by on December 24, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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This is the Last of the Tequila

Shot 1: Scorpion piss. The taste really isn’t that terrible but with the first taste being so abrupt , it’s damn near gut wrenching.

It’s hard to begin blogging again with such a large break in between. But with a little courage I’ve stepped back into the doorway.

So a lots changed since we last met, I’ve moved into my apartment with three great ladies, completed my sophomore year of college and have not gotten a job yet(surprisingly), I mean, who DOESN’T want to hire ME? I am just a bundle of workmanship and rainbows, also cuteness! Ok maybe not so cute(or am I?), but at least I have a great personality. But no on e pays attention to that these days anyway. Let’s get back to the list of things that have changed in the world around us.

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1. SKYRIM
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SO for all of those who don’t know, this is the cocaine of  the Gaming World and I’ve been left out of the needle-sharing-circle. . . FOR
NOW! I’ll soon sneak my way up and into the way of the addiction and taste the sweetness of glory and Dragonborn…ness.

 Although my desire for Skyrim is as intense as Kindergarten Cop on a Sunday/Monday night/morning, I still
have moral implications(LOL) to try and avoid such distractions. This is VERY hard to do when half of the girls whom I live with are playing this game ALL. THE. TIME. This face perfectly demonstrates how I feel ——->
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2. My phone is being a poop-head
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This is actually My fault. I was doing things that I shouldn’t have been doing with…it…yeah. By some evil wizards incantation the front face plate of the phone will not work. None of the buttons except the On/Off/Hang-up button. No real big problem except that I can only answer phone calls on speaker phone. F*cking evil wizards.(please send Hate mail instead of curses and demonic minions) In all serious I will more than likely need to get a new phone 😦
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3. I KEEP GETTING SHOCKED BY MY LAPTOP!!!
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   Why lap, why!?!?!?
4. 5. and 6. are sooo boring/appalling/ heart-breaking that I could only legally post them in the country of Estonia. That’s a lie but you’re not supposed to know that. It involves Creepers, kittens, and German Screamo but the last part is not directly involved.
My nails are painted black at the moment and I feel pretty goth even though I’m wearing a Hollister shirt. Jumping back to Minecraft, it has become one of the Number 1 games in the world, winning numerous awards and  acquiring  over 4 million members!
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Shot 9: Taste? What taste? If anything my mouth is numb and or paralyzed. Well I can’t think of much else to ramble on about….that or I’ve forgotten what I was going to talk about.
Deepede-deepeda-That’s All Folks!
 
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Posted by on December 19, 2011 in Rants, Uncategorized

 

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Of Things To Come.

I need to come up with a fun way to introduce my posts :/ Anyway, I just want to let you all in on how things will be going in the very near future. Sorry about the scrolling 😀

So I feel as though I’ve pretty much wasted this summer, 90% of it due to Minecraft, the other 10% was Pizza Hut. I have an addictive personality, not to drugs really, just pointless hobbies like endless gaming and internet surfing. But that doesn’t matter. What I want to talk about is the hopeful future of this blog. I’ve had a lot of fun with this, like, borderline theme park fun. It allows me to write and say whatever I want and whatever is on my mind. If you have read my older posts, you may have noticed that the “Weekly Updates” haven’t been particularly….weekly. It’s not that I don’t want to do them or that I have no time, it is just the fact that I am way, WAAAY to lazy. I need inspiration to make something special. I need to have a spark of imagination and creativity inside of me. I find it really hard to create anything if I try to force it. In the end it will just come out pathetic or not to my liking. I don’t want to make you disappointed 😀 So, I promise to get off of my ass and find that spark just for you 😉

The breakdown for this fall is College, work(hopefully), more school work, blogging, partying, and begging for spare change on the street corner of Dickson. With the blog, I plan on bringing back all of the weekly updates, hopefully with the addition of a few friends. I also want to add polls, some interactive posts, more poetry posting and anything that comes to mind that I think you might enjoy. On August 13th, this Saturday actually, I will be moving into my new apartment! YAAAY WOOHOO EXCITING! It’s the start of a whole year of no parents, no rules(to an extent), and endless good times with my close friends. I just hope that I won’t have to do anything too drastic somewhere down the road XD

If all else fails I guess 0_o

 
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Posted by on August 11, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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This Is Not My Sweat :[

Hey there you little goblins, how are you? You’ve all probably heard of the heat wave affecting us right? Well this weekend, I attended the first everThe two-day music festival was absolutely amazing! It was held at the Kansas Speedway in Kansas City and the music was going on inside and outside of the stadium. I must admit that even though I’ve only been to a few concerts/festivals, Kanrocksas topped the list after last night. Not only did I get to see some of my favorite bands up close, I got to enjoy it with Megan McGinnis and her family and friends 😀 I was sooo happy! She gave me a fright on Friday after she nearly passed out at the Arctic Monkeys concert, and again Saturday morning. Send her some get well wishes if you get the chance.

With any kind of concert in August, there’s bound to be heat. This heat doubles when it’s in Kansas. But despite this overwhelming heat, people still party themselves sick and sweaty. Nearly every guy at the festival went shirtless, whether he was chubby or skinny, muscly or chest-hair ridden. After an hour or so just standing out in the sun, people just stopped giving a fuck. Everyone and their mother was tan, burnt, hot, and slimy. I felt so disgusting just breathing in the afternoon air. When it came time for a band to perform, people crowded together so close that bodily fluids became one. At one point I was positive that none of the sweat on me was mine…I hope I was wrong.

So to break it down, the music was fucking awesome, the heat was fucking terrible, and the experience was fucking memorable. The Flaming Lips, The Black Keys, Ween, Bassnectar, 12th Planet, Kid Cudi, Cage the Elephant, Flogging Molly, The Arctic Monkeys, Fitz and the Tantrums, Girl Talk, UME, Primus, OK Go, Eminem, and Muse were the bands that we saw, although there were tons more that we weren’t able to see. We were up front for most of the bands which was awesomesauce. Muse put on the best show by far, next to The Flaming Lips.

The first night of the music festival we had planned to camp out in a tent, but once the day ended and we got to the camp site, waking up in a tent in Kansas in direct sunlight seemed like a bad idea. Instead, a friend and I slept outside in our sleeping bags under the stars, while Megan chose to sleep in the back of the van. If you’ve ever been camping you’ll know that waking up in a sleeping bag is shitty business, but waking up outside in a sleeping bag is downright disgusting. Whoever thought that putting the most moisture absorbing fabric on sleeping bags was a good idea should have been sent to Guantanamo Bay. The pillow I was sleeping on? Wet as a horny teenager 😦 I had a spot big enough for my face that was dry. It was a miserable experience that night, and was made worse by the unexpected fireworks that follow Eminem’s act. Rappers do not need fireworks. Fuck you Eminem. Fuck you.

After I got home I looked at my guitar and just felt anxious. I wanted to be able to play on stage in front of thousands of people one day, but I know that probably won’t happen 😛 All I can do is daydream about being on a hot stage, jumping around, and having a good, sweaty time. At least on stage I’m not being molested by other peoples sweat.

 
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Posted by on August 9, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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Cuntry Music And Its Horrible Effects On Humanity (Not for Children)

Kids, DO NOT read this. Or go ahead, just don’t tell your parents 😉

No, that is not a misspelling. Country music is literally one of the worst sounds to ever be emitted from a musical instrument in the history of sound. I don’t want to hear a fiddle every damn song okay! I don’t give a flying fuck about your pathetic excuse for a life you damn country bumfucks. Every song is about the EXACT SAME THING!

The only great country musician

How many songs about makin’ love, having a cold beer, lovin’ yer baby, being a country man, and all the rest of the pathetic waste of activities does it take for a redneck to say, “This sounds like the last 23 songs I’ve heard all day.”? The answer doesn’t exist because a redneck is too stupid to notice.

For fuck sake, I can’t even tell country musicians apart because, just like their music, they all sound alike. And the female singers? Even worse! That high pitch harpy screeching really annoys the piss out of me and makes me cringe at every note. T-Swift is an obvious exception to this predicament, but who knows? Maybe in 10 years she’ll be just like every other female country musician.

This is just a fraction of the hatred I have for the existence that is Country Music. Neither words nor actions can express how I feel about it. I have listened to old country music. The days of Johnny Cash and…well to be honest Johnny Cash is the only other country musician I liked. But anyway the point is Country music has evolved into a hideous, hunchbacked, one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people eater that looks a lot like Gollum.

Oh...oh God

I want everyone to know that although I hate country, I mean no disrespect to any of my family lol I still love you all but I cannot stand your taste in music 😛 You’ll probably think the same way after I talk about my music tastes 😉

For me, any other music genre will do beside country, but the really amazing ones are Hardcore, Dubstep, and Classical. An odd mix yes, but amazing nevertheless. Let’s start with Hardcore. Amazing riffs, orgasmic breakdowns and the heaviest sounding vocals to ever come from someones mouth. Some of the greatest bands are The Devil Wears Prada, Asking Alexandria, Blind Witness, Miss May I, Attack Attack!, and there are many more really good bands. A lot of people just think that it is just noise and vocals that sound like someone throwing up(thank you mother)

"Karma's a bitch, right?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLQBebfEXpc, and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0sT7xfC3QY.Don’t ask questions, just watch them. Or don’t if you REALLY don’t want to.

Now for Dubstep. Dubstep originated across the pond in London, England. This music genre isn’t well known over here in America but it has gained a large following nevertheless thanks to a dubstep artist known as Skrillex. Dubstep sounds like two Transformers making sweet love in the best way possible. But really, the sound is amazing, it’s a lot of drum and bass with amazing drops and beats. It’s very awesome when you’ve had a few drinks and the beat just takes you away. Dubstep artists also do a lot of remixes of popular songs such as Katty Perry’s “E.T.” as well as video game songs, such as this ball-dropping piece right here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NU75uz0b8EU. Listen to it on the highest quality with the volume turned way up. You won’t regret it.

And Classical Music…do I need to say more? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-t5Nk49yZ Just listen to this and be taken by the music 😉 And on this song I say goodbye.

 
 

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Time To Blow Stuff Up

Yup, that’s about the extent of my 4th of July celebration this year. I actually consider myself lucky as I usually don’t do anything except pickup candy that was throw at high speed from a cop car driving slowly down a crowded street. I think it’s their way of saying sorry with candy while still shoving their boot up your ass. But seriously though, I am rarely given a chance to shoot of fireworks. The only downside to this particular occasion is that my fireworks look 30 years old. I honestly feel like Wile E. Coyote, but not as hairy or irresponsible.

I was given a big box full of these things for free from our next door neighbors. It was a really nice thing to do, but I have a feeling that something sinister is going on 0_o Perhaps a subtle sabotage with aged fireworks and a strapping young lad? *strokes invisible mustache* Firecrackers, sizzlers, zingers, tiny dynamite, bottle rockets, and more came in this box of dangerous goodies! It was like Christmas in July. A very American Christmas with dirt instead of snow.

To top off the bundle of joy that is my 4th of July, I won’t get to fire these baby’s off until I get off of work. At 12 at night. Yippee! I’m going to be tired as shit, needing a shower, and probably in a terrible mood so I am damn glad I’m getting to blow some shit up! You can bet I’ll be shouting obscenities late into the night 😉 Yet in all of this fun and excitement, I’ll be alone. I won’t be shooting fireworks with friends, I won’t have eaten BBQ, no hamburgers, and NO songs about America (THANK YOU!)

Work is definitely going to be hectic, how could it not be? People want to stuff their faces full of pizza, shouting AMURCAH! You DO know that pizza is Italian right? Just sayin’. So anyway, have a great 4th of July, eat until you hate yourself, and stare in awe of bright explosions, or make your own and blow a finger off. It’s your choice, just be careful lol

Happy Birthday America!

 
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Posted by on July 4, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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